


You can't take this

by Pai61 (orphan_account)



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Gen, I stand for agatha, Post-Book 2: Wayward Son, Spoilers for Book 2: Wayward Son, Suggested stuff, Trigger Warnings, felt I should challenge myself and figure her out, i guess, just agatha, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 16:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21274241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Pai61
Summary: A short collection of thoughts that Agatha has when she is at Next Blood.





	You can't take this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sourest_Cherry_Scone_Baby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourest_Cherry_Scone_Baby/gifts).

**Agatha**

I'm sitting at Watford with Penny. It's the first time she's left Shepard's side since we got here. Simon and Baz have disappeared to who knows where, and Mitali is off somewhere talking about whatever-the-fuck. I don't care.

"So. What happened when you were at the Next Blood lab..." she looks flushed, confused. I know what she wants. Something she can be certain of. And Agatha was always certain, wasn't she. But she isn't the same anymore... She's been through too much. She's faced the world, and the world knocked her to the ground. The Agatha that got up is scarred. Broken.

...

I lay in my bed. My mouth is glued shut. My head feels heavy. Braden stands over me.

"So special..." I try to scream and thrash but my body is still and silent. Braden pushes the hair out of my face.

"I can almost _feel _it in you..." I glare at him but my heart is racing. I know he can hear it. He shakes his head and sticks me with another needle.

"Until you realize that this is for the greatest good... I'm sorry Agatha," And the world darkens.

...

"Good morning, Agatha," he is so close. His eyes are so hungry. Oh god, _no. Save me. Please_. Braden get's closer. He strokes my hair and mutter things under his breath. I feel like I'm going to faint. 

I'm glad I do.

I miss the next part.

...

"Hello, Sunshine! How are you feeling?" Bright and sunny and _dead_. I keep my face slack. He frowns. 

"That won't do! Anyways, just a could more tests... please, Agatha. Tell me. Tell me everything."

I lay still and he shakes his head, like he's disappointed in me. It's not like I have a choice in it anymore. I won't leave this bed. He won't let me. One of his weird medical kinks I guess.

...

"Please, Agatha. Work with me! We need you. You are such a large part of this. You can't just _not_ do this!" I haven't touched anything. He feeds me with tubes.

I should just die.

I wonder what day it is.

I wonder if Penny will ever find me.

...

It's all around me. This fear.

I will never save the day.

I'm just a damsel in distress.

Fed no carbs and smoothies with multivitamins.

...

I thought I could run away from magic.

I can't. I _am_ magic. 

And they want it.

_He_ wants it.

He's taken so much

_You can't have this._

_..._

I don't know how long it's been.

I haven't seen Ginger in so long.

Every day, there are more needles, more scans.

Braden keeps touching me.

I am what he said I was.

_A __specimen_.

...

Where is the well I can throw myself down?

When can I stop waiting to be rescued?

Why can't I take one of these needles and jam it in the artery of my leg?

_I'm scared._

_It's too late now_.

...

...

Penny waits. I look at her and I sigh. I get up and I walk away.

This is my story.

I've learned from it.

No one else needs to know.

Not yet anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to keep it vague.... I hope you like it. BTW if you haven't already check out Sourest_Cherry_Scone_Baby who writes beautifully and is absolutely spectacular! She is a lovely human being! I hope you like this, my friend! <3


End file.
